"There were quite a few things happened before camp, whether is it physically or mentally. I was suddenly struck with fear, suddenly panic about knowing and recognizing my own self, don't know who am I myself, don't know what's my gifts and talents, don't know what I'm actually good at and thought I'm a person without values. So I was expecting God to move in this area, to tell me the answers of all my doubts and questions in my heart. Besides that, I was still having lots of assignments and mid-sem exam straight after camp and initially I had those negative thoughts of not going, but probably save the time at home to finish whatever things that I needed to finish. Other than that, I was asking for more friendships outside UL, learn and grow from there.
But thank God that He still pushed me and put the excitement inside me while camp was approaching. During camp, the first thing that God handled directly, was about fear and obstacles in our lives! I was shocked and initially thought ok..probably that's it. And I started see no fears anymore in my own self, thought that I'm alright. Praise the Lord for the first day cos' God took our obstacles away! On the 2nd day, morning session, when Ps. Matt was asking us to ask a verse from God and God revealed two verses into myself, one directly from God and one from the girl that I approached. The verse that God revealed it to myself was Acts 5:21 "Speak into other people's life about Him!" and 2 Tim 1:7-10 "God didn't give us the spirit of FEAR, but of power and a sound mind." Again, 'fear' was in the air. I started to doubt whether is that the thing that God really wants to make the surgery in myself as I felt fear no more. That night, when Ps. Matt asked leaders to go around to pray for us, I fell three times! Encountering with God indeed in a great way, but for the first two times, i wasn't satisfied at all as I didn't get any word from God and I insisted that God to tell me if not I won't want to leave the camp! So in a while, Yan and Carmen approached me and again, God spoke to me through Yan and said I was carrying fear inside me and wanted me to relax and let God do the rest. I was stunt and don't really know what's the fear inside and I was quite frustrated with God to tell me that! So that night, God spoke again and said...fear is recognisable when it's a big fear, but in our hearts there are too many small little little fears that we don't see and recognise. It may not bother us but that little little fears in us are still stopping us from growing and definitely matters to God. In a great way, God wants me to have the confidence in myself, on who am I in Him and with a purpose I'm born in this world and in this life, I actually have abundance but not lack of anything!
That particular night, God prompted me to pray for a few person. Initially I thought whether is it appropriate or not, but the pumping in my heart was too strong. I went up to a girl that God asked me to speak to her life and prayed for her. She cried and I freaked out!! After a while, I went to talk to her then only she said the things that I spoke into her was actually what she needs for her low self-esteem and she thought her value in God was nothing, until I told her that God loves her. I was amazed and shocked and thanked God at the same time that I walked to her. Then God spoke very firmly into my heart and said, "that's one of your major gifts - speak into people's life with words that actually coming out from God, not myself."
Indeed, a lot of great things happened, breakthrough and stuff. God answered prayers!! :D"
-Angeline Sie
*I still remember and missed that giant swing!*
