I love it when God molds and revealed all the junk that's inside me and take it out one by one, and the way He change me day by day to the person that He wants me to be!
To be honest, I don't feel the peace of going back (tonight!!) - a sense of weirdness. I know it's fear, scared, worried...but I just ignored it! Meh! And I shouldn't!
I saw this on Ps. Lisa Bevere's facebook status. She mentioned that, "An offended Christian is one who takes in life, but because of fear, cannot release it. They are no longer in 'give' mode, rather 'protect'."
This is SO TRUE! This is exactly what I shared with my Christian friends lately. I admit that I got past hurts, bitterness and disappointments that even thou pastors in church delivered those from me before, but it is still not dealt fully yet!! Because of fear, I cannot let go. All these caused my heart become hard. God, please tender my heart, do all the necessary surgery in my heart to purify it into a pure Gold! "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. (Matt 5:8)" I want to see God, not partially but in FULLNESSS!!
God, take me deeper than I've been before!
God, take me further cos' I really long for more!
God, take me higher than I've been before!
Jesus, I want more! I need more! I WANT MORE OF YOUUU!!
quoted from "Deeper" by Planetshakers
It's true sometimes when we are comfortable with our spiritual environment, we just want to wish to be in it forever! We are scared to go through the wilderness, to go through the lake with storms in order to reach to the other side or reach to our promised land, but we want shortcuts in life. God said to me before that, "There're NO shortcuts in life. NOOO if you want to learn and grow strong in Him. Only people with fear, doubts and intimidation desires shortcut!" That's how Jesus taught His disciple by bringing them through a storm in the boat, and He can still sleep soundly in it. But He showed that He's always there when the storm is around.
"Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Heb 13:8)"
And if God is here in Melbourne with us, He will be with us no matter where we are as well. It's true that different country got different spiritual environment and condition. But as long as you hold on to God, He's forever there helping you, using you to make a change and be willing and ready to shine for Him instead! That's what I want to be! I love Him for who He is, no matter what's my circumstances, I still want to praise Him, shout His testimony cos' when God is for me, who (even my storms) can stand against me? I learnt to hold on to His promises to me. That strengthened myself in Him even when i'm not in a good situation, even when i'm in my tribulations. Those promises helped me to hold on to Him. Watered my soil (my soul) by all these promises from Word of God for they brought along life and they are life!!
I know things happened for a reason, even if it's bad, that doesn't mean that it comes from God cos' we are living in a fallen world. I really think Devil is really really stupid!!!! :P I thank God that He revealed to me even more, that I know I need to dealt with it and now I'm free! There are lots of things ahead of me that that I thought I couldn't handle it, but God said He won't give us anything that's out of our ability to handle. I'm not going to fear of going back home and fear of slacking but I'm gonna come back Melbourne even stronger!!! 3 months of challenge, God will surely bring me through! Amen? AMEN!!!
p/s: Thanks Noelle!! Catching up with you blessed me a lot!! God used you to reveal so much more details things that I need to dealt with and I felt a sense of freedom after sharing all my stories with you! Jesus is AWESOME!! Thank God for friendsssss!! :D
